Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Greed Is Good but Fish Taste Better

The best thing ol' bitch ever bought me for Christmas was a plaque for my desk that had my favorite quote on it - GREED IS GOOD. I still got it on my desk actually, but it's not my favorite quote anymore. Wall Street was good but Boiler Room kicked ass! I still use some of that shit around the office, especially with the rookies. New guy yesterday went two straight hours never getting to page two on the script, so I walk over and ask him "when was the last time you closed something? You couldn't close a window!" I can't say the real quote or they'd sue me and fire me - LOLLOL!

No, but my favorite quote from that movie is this one - "I'm 46 years old, I have 22 years market experience. I know this business. So pick up your skirt, grab your balls and let's go make some money!" We got a whole bunch of new blood starting out next Monday, and they're going to get my DON'T FIRE MY ASS FOR TELLING THE TRUTH version of that speech! LOL! It's the same shit at the tables. I'm kicking so much ass this week I should be charging admission - oh wait - maybe that's just what I'm doing! LOL! I got sick and fucking tired of tourists playing crap-ass hands all the way to the river that I decided to fight fire with fire for once. I got down $20 playing NL and after the third filthy fucking suckout to my DOMINATING preflop hands, I went down to the NL$25 table and decided I'd just play any suited cards and any hand with a face! LOL! Do I even need to tell you what happened next?

I fucked around for about an hour doing this and was up $40! LOL! Two pair with 92 of clubs? I win. Call a few small bets to make my gutshot on the river? Hell yeah, why not? It's only money! I was on FIRE! Maybe I should have changed my name from NEVERBLUFF to ALWAYSCALL for a night! LOL!

What I can't stand are those godamn tourists that want to tell you what a fish you are. You know who you are - if you can't take losing don't play poker! And don't bring that weak shit to me - I know you only had King high or something and didn't catch shit when I did. If I'm betting, I GOT THAT SHIT BITCH! I'm not going to show you down without a good hand, even if it didn't start out that way - LOL! On that hand where I had 92 of clubs and caught my two pair I busted some guy with TT. That's MY favorite hand, it's supposed to lose for everyone else. Anyways I get top pair on the flop and there's already $2 in the pot so I bet a dollar. Mr. TT pushes all-in for something like $12 and you know I'm calling that with top pair - guy hadn't shown he could play a good hand yet! I call and get my two on the turn and the tourist shoots his load. He starts talking shit like "Nice hand fish" and "You can call me all day with #$@# 29" and I'm all "Keep talking monkey, I'll keep taking your $$." He was pissed off and bought another $10 and busted to some other dude in like fifteen minutes! LOL! He bought probably two more times and proved my thinking about tourists - they're always willing to spend bad money to see good cards.

Unless you think this is some sort of new strategy for me or something, that's bullshit. I just wanted to see how it felt to swim like a fish but you know I ain't swimming with 'em, I'm trying to hook 'em and reel 'em in! I hope that guy from last night tries to hunt me down today too. I'm going to move back to NL$50 and not play like an idiot moron dipshit tonight, and I know that guy is mad enough to chase his money and I hope he'll be donating to my beer fund! LOL!

Time to get off the Internet and back to squeezing money out of unsuspecting dumbass tourists! LOL!

Play Like a Champion Today.

Saturday, January 28, 2006

Tommy Martin Likes To Smoke Pole

Tommy can choke on my big veiny horse cock. And now it's true because it's on the internet! LOL!

All right boy, I'm just kidding! I ain't mad at-cha! I'm just tired of giving this guy ten dollar bills like it's my job the last two days! LOL! Tommy bet me again on Friday at the bar on the best two out of three playing cricket again and I don't know what happened but I think he fucked with my darts when I wasn't looking or something because I was missing but not by a lot while he just hit every fucking spot he needed to all night long. That was ten bucks and I NEVER lose to Tommy playing darts. Then it was Golden Tee, which I can't play for shit anyways but I was mad from the cricket where I always kick his ass, and I had a couple of Jager bombs before we played.

Fuck golf anyway, that's for old white dudes who work in an office managing people anyway - ok, old RICH white dudes that work in an office and manage people anyway - LOLLOL! Even video games where I kick Tommy's ass all the time suck when they're about golf. You know a game sucks when the main character is wearing pleated pants! LOL!

That was another ten bucks, but Tommy's a lot better with balls in his hands than I am so fuck em, right? I told him his luck was going to run right the hell out, so he'd better take what he could from me now before we sat down at the poker table again but he wanted to be a dick about it. Right before we left the bar last night he said he wanted to press his luck and said he'd take Rutgers today against Louisville on the road, even though the Cards were favored! He didn't even want points?!?! Tommy's a UK guy which is bad enough, but Rutgers? Straight up!

How the fuck did Rutgers win by 9? It's Tommy's fucking luck in the last two days, that's what. Or my stupid luck in the last two days. Something like that. I can't beat Tommy in Cricket Friday when I normally smoke him, Louisville loses because Tommy's Golden Ass has ten bucks riding on it, and I can't catch a fucking break playing poker either. I'm at PokerStars slumming down playing in a tournament and get pocket Kings. I'm under the gun and I make it something like 240 which was three times the bet all day. FOUR callers! I KNOW someone's going to dig the golden horseshoe out of their ass and catch something here so I'm already pissed off before the flop. But it comes out: K 8 7 rainbow so I know I'm good. Big blind checks and I check too and can't wait to check-raise if someone gets uppity - and tries to bet into THE NUTS. But everyone checks and a 6 comes on the turn. The big blind checks and I want to bet now and there's a lot of money in the pot so I bet 800 which leaves me 200 left. Everyone folds to the big blind and he pushes all-in! I call and the fish turns over 9T of hearts! He didn't even have a flush draw on the flop! LOL!

How can you compete with fish like this sometimes? You get good fucking hands and hit a flop hard and some tourist decides to call a RAISE pre-flop with ten high! LOL! And it was one of those douchebags who puts a picture of their kid up as their picture too. I hate those guys. Am I not supposed to call you're all-in because you're gambling out of little Billy's college fund? Sorry fish, NO PITY. I'd tell you what my picture is on there, but then I'd have to kill you! LOL!

One week to the Steeler's win baby! Like JB said at the pep rally yesterday WIN ONE FOR THE THUMB! We're going to rip the Seahawks a new one, and it's going to be good to have Cody their to see a Superbowl win with his old man. If Crystal tries to take this shit away from me like she did with that trip to Six Flags I had planned for the boy last summer, well I'm libel to be a lot madder about this one than that one. Big Ben, The Bus, Hines Ward and me and my boy are going to be popping corks next Sunday night damnit!

Friday, January 27, 2006

Cricket Champion

That's what they used to call me anyway.
Long before we used to play poker all the time it was Darts.

Not sure if anyone knows what cricket is, but its a dart game where you have to close out 15,16,17,18,19,20, and bulls while you have the high score then you win. I had a dart board when I was a kid and me and my dad used to play in the garage so I guess you could say I had an unfair advantage over the fellas here. Didn't stop me from taking their money though! LOL! And yes, there are fish at darts too! LOLLOL!!!

We played last night just cause we knew we had a poker game this weekend, and the BIG game on SuperSunday. Of course I won. We didn't play for big money, instead the loser had to buy two rounds (Keith), and second place (Tommy), had to put 5 bucks in the jukebox and play my choices of music. It wasn't hard since we all like the same stuff mostly, so I just told him to play at least 3 KISS songs, and everything would be cool.

I'm writing this for Pete mostly so he can find out how much fun we had last night while he stayed at home with Jess. They probably fought all night too knowing that loud ass bitch. Pete, next time you just gotta leave and come hang with the boys! LOL!

Anyways, I had my bulls closed first (I can hit a bullseye pretty much on command), and would go after triples to close out my numbers, and every once in awhile I'd hit a bulls just to build my score. Dickhead Tommy kept scoring on 15's like an idiot. I told you there were fish in darts too!!! Of course I finally finished him off, and won again.

Keith told me he was sick of me winning everything, so he challenged me to a game of pool. He beat me 2 out of 3, but I don't really count that as a win cause that pool table sucked so bad. It leaned to the left so bad that you had to hit the shot so hard otherwise the balls would veer off. I tried to start a conversation up about playing poker, because this bar we go to is planning to start up weekly tourneys. It's gonna be $20 to get in, but the bartender wants it to be winner-take-all. I think that's cool because the pot will be bigger for the winner, and I have a feeling most of the players would be tourists, but it would suck to play forever and get sucked out in the end and not get anything. I think I talked the guy into paying out the top 2 places. He's got 4 tables off to the side by the dartboards that he's going to used, and thinks we can get 30 players so the prize pool will be pretty nice. I told him he could count on me to be there! LOL!!!

If there's a pond full of fish, I'm gonna be there!! And I'm gonna have my skillet ready to fry em up! LOLLOL!!!!!


Play Like a Champion Today.

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Superbowl

Ha! So Barry now wants to go double or nothing on the $50 he bet on the Broncos. Why not? It's not like the Seahawks stand a chance anyway. Has anyone been watching my Steelers the last 3 weeks? LOL!

Pete's already said he expects maybe 20 people at the Superbowl party. And you know what that means right? Poker. I'm trying to talk them into a $100 buyin, but I doubt I get many takers. The guys I play with regular know that I'd probably win, but I told them not to tell the other people. Still a hundred may be too much. I think if I say Hey let's do a hundred, and everyone says no, then I can say let's do 50. It won't seem like that much then, and people will probably do it. I'm not sure if any of the other people even play poker which would be nice. Especially since everyone will be drinking at the party, and I'm the only one whose game actually gets better the more I drink.

Crystal called me up again last night and I guess Cody, our son, got into more trouble at school. I told her already don't expect me to keep after him if I only get to see him once ever two weeks. And what about the guy she lives with? He gets to live there, have her cook his meals, and he don't even work. And when Cody gets in trouble, do you think she goes to him? Noooooo.

I said if I got to see him when I wanted then I'd help out more. It's all fucking Bullshit! Of course I get to see him on the Superbowl which is going to be nice again. His favorite player is Jerome Bettis and that's whose jersey he wears. I got it for him for Christmas, and I got the away jersey of Hines Ward (my favorite Steeler). Anyway, he'll get to run around with all the boys at Pete's again, and they'll play Xbox. Crystal said she won't come get him this time and that if I brought him home after I'd be drinking she'd have the cops waiting on me. Pete told me I ought to pop her a good one, and when her man stood up to pop his ass one too! LOL!



Play Like a Champion Today.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Poker Bitches and Tricks of the Trade

That's right.
It never occurred to me to bring it up, but since Tommy was over last night watching me play some online poker he asked why my Full Tilt poker player was a woman.

I said cause people think women don't know how to play poker, and that I'd get some bad calls, and that some people would try to bluff me more.

In less than 10 minutes I had proved him right. Some tourist tried to come over the top of me when I flopped trips, and sure enough he didn't have anything. I play big at women players too, but they don't expect a bluff because they think I'm a woman player. It works out perfectly. Just a trick of the trade I told Tommy. I've got millions of them.

It's true though. Think about it. How many women poker players can YOU name? That's right, maybe Annie Duke. My guess is that if she wasn't Howard's sister you'd never have heard of her. The closest any woman has gotten to being a World Champion was that stupid ass black chick this year. And everyone even the commentors on ESPN knew she had no business being there. Just goes to show that even dumbass tourists get lucky in tourneys sometimes.

Tommy thought it was funny but true after I explained it to him. Then I logged onto Pokerstars just to show him my player there. Yup, another woman. My name there has Tequila in it too. I told him, "Do you know any creature living dumber than a dumb ass bitch on tequila?"!!!! LOL!!!
You should see all the people that try to bluff me there. Bluffing me DOES NOT WORK, people.
Jeesh.

Another one of my tricks of the trade. I could go on all day giving out my tips, but I'll save them for later. It's not like anyone reads this anyway. Except for Pete, and he's a fish! (Sorry, Pete!) LOL!!!

Maybe one day a woman will somehow suckout enough to become a World Champion. I highly doubt it, but if it happens, I'll eat a deck of cards. I can tell you one thing, it won't be that bitch from the WSOP this year. And it probably won't be Duke either.


So, I booked a win with Tommy watching me. I just played $NL50, but hitting those trips won me a $20 pot. I let Tommy borrow Phil's book, and I also made copies of my tipsheet at work yesterday for him. He thinks he wants to get serious like I am about poker. Why not? There's tourists out there just ready to give money away, all you have to do is sit down with them.

Life is good.



Play Like a Champion Today.

Monday, January 23, 2006

STEEEEELERS !!!!

That's right.
Everyone told me Denver would win, and just like usual I ended up being right.

I had my son this weekend which was pretty cool. He really likes football, and I got him a bunch of Steeler stuff for Christmas this year. We both put on our jerseys and headed to Pete's for the game. Pete has two boys, and Keith brought his son. They all played during the day while we all ate chili(my dad's from Pittsburgh recipe, kicks ass), watched our Steelers whup up on the pussy Broncos, and play poker.

We played a 5-person tournament. $30 buy in gets 1000 chips. I went out in third when Keith sucked out on me. Go figure. I tried to tell him he was an idiot for calling me with a pair of tens on a flop of: K T 4. I had KJ and bit it BIG. He called and the turn gave him 2-pair. I called his all-in and I didkn't get another king or jack. I tried to explain to him that it was one of the dumbest plays ever, but he coudn't see why. He's a fish, but still a good friend.

The best part of the night didn't have anything to do with poker, even though we were playing. Of course all of us had been drinking Buds and eating chili and nacho dip all day long. We were playing poker when Tommy says to hold on cause he's gonna rip a big one. We all get quiet and he lifts his leg up to let it rattle, and then it doesn't make a sound at all. He made a really embarrassed face too, and that's when we all realized that he shit himself. Tommy's face turned beet red. We were all laughing too hard. My stomach started cramping up and I had to take a break from the beer for thirty minutes. Pete asked him if he needed some shorts to wear and sure enough Tommy said yes. He got up from the table and walked backwards into the garage so we couldn't see where he shit. Pete got him some sweatpants since it was kind of cold. Too Funny! LOL.. When a forty year old guy shits his pants you can't help but to laugh.

I had Crystal come by to pick up the boy so I didn't have to drive him anywhere drunk. Last time I did it Crys made a big fuss, and threatened to call the cops. I wasn't even drunk really, but she said she could smell it.

Anyway, my Steelers are gonna whup those pussy ass Seahawks in the SuperBowl. We're going back to Pete's of course since they keep winning while we're at his house and we don't want to jinx them.

Barry, the guy I bet $50, paid me this morning. I told him double or nothing on the SuperBowl and he said no. Figures, I'd be scared of my Steelers too! LOL!!


Probably gonna play some poker this week. I got some bad beats out of the way the last few weeks, so I should have a big win coming soon. I wonder if these dickhead fish know how much Budweiser they've bought me? I doubt it! LOLLOL!!



Play Like a Champion Today.

Saturday, January 21, 2006

P vs. T.

And, NO, that's not Pete versus Tommy.

Pros versus Tourists.

I didn't play any poker last night for the first time in probably a year LOL!

I had to stay late at work because some dickhead kept screwing up. Then I came home and Pete calls my cell on the way home. I guess he's not doing good (I checked with him, and he says its cool if I write about him. HAHA) with his girlfriend. So I told him to come on over and we can have some Buds. It was cold last night, but we sat on the porch anyway. Talking about our Steelers mostly. Be ready Denver!! He thinks he's serious about leaving Jess. I told him all women are dumb as fuck and mostly rude as hell anyway LOL! Plus I told him that would give him more time for poker!!! Anyway, I need to get to poker. I want to really talk about why I like playing with good players more than these fish online.

I think I would make more money playing against pros than tourists. You may think that's dumb, but I can tell you why it isn't.

1) Pros know when to lay down hands.
2) You can bluff a pro.
3) Fish always chase idiot draws. AND THEY HIT!
4) If I want a pro to fold I can make him think I actually have a hand.
5) Pros only play good hands, so you can put them on big cards usually.

And don't think cause you see the pros on TV playing bad hands that's because they don't show them all LOL. Do you really think the WSOP lasts only two hours?

Okay, I told Pete I'd bring chili if Tommy rogered up to bring deer jerky, and Keith is bringing the nacho dip. So, I got to go the store to get the fixins. A guy that works for me bet me $50 on the Broncos. So, I'm gonna get rich too! And I'm going to take all there money too! LOLLOL!!


May all your pots be fat and juicy!


Play Like a Champion Today.

Friday, January 20, 2006

Camp Update 2

Well, folks I hate to say this but last night didn't go nearly as good as the first night.
I basically got sucked out on so many times I lost count.

I played the NL$50 table first, and lost all $50 after two horrendous beats. I ask you a question: CAN A FISH EVER LAY DOWN A HAND?

I don't even remember the hand it was so bad. Of course in the middle of the game, Crystal (the-EX) calls me and says that our son got sent home from school and that she'd like to talk about it. What do you want me to do about it I told her? He doesn't live with me, and see's more of that dickhead living with you than even me. It's all fucking bullshit. I get to see him once every two weeks, and when he gets in trouble Crystal comes running for my help. Some shit just ain't right.

Anyway, so that phonecall pissed me off even more. I'm down $50 already and so now I got to win $250 to keep up my pace. I decided to go to a NL$200 table and I picked one where there was two big stacks ($300 & $450) so that there would be someone to pay me off through a double-up. I was there less than 15 minutes when I get Ace-Jack. I raise it up to $5, and the girl in the big blind reraises it to $15. I thought about going all in here, but figured that she may have pockets, so I just call it. The flop comes out Ace-and two low cards. She checks, so I'm pretty sure I've got her. I'm guessing that she had QQ,JJ,KK, or whatever. Anyway, I bet the size of the pot which was about $40. She goes ALL-IN?? LOL??! What kind of tourist does this? I call TIME and get it down to about a few seconds left and decide that she has to be bluffing. Turns out she has Ace-King, and now I got $0 at the table. I'm really pissed now, cause I worked pretty hard to win that much the night before.

I keep trying to say its one big session, but sometimes these fish just piss me off.

I think work is going to get in the way from Camp Helmuth anyway, so I'll probably just try to go next year. This is probably good news anyway since i don't like being cramped for time. I'm layed back, and easy going. Give me the outdoors, a deck of cards, some buddies, and some cold Budweiser and I'm good.

I'll be returning soon with some more strategy on how to win big in the Sit and Gos. I also noticed that I got some comments from a couple people. Thanks, guys. I like to hear what other poker players are thinking. You may not agree with what I say, but someday you will when you see me winning a bracelet on TV. Now all I got to do is get Crystal off my ass and start focusing on this great game of poker!! LOL!!!


Play Like a Champion Today.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Camp Hellmuth Update #1

Well, it was a pretty good night here last night. And you know why?
Cause I stuck to my guns.
That's right. I did exactly what I said I was gonna do, and it turned out perfectly.

First off, I sat at the NL$50 table (25cent/50cent blinds for you that don't know), and in less than half hour I had my stack at $103. So....What's a Poker Champ to do? That's right, stick to his guns and climp up a ladder to take down the tourists at the NL$100.

First hand at NL$100 I get pockets. Seven-Seven.
Flop comes: A J 7. I just KNEW one of these dickhead fish were gonna play at this pot. I mean if there's three in the pot already and I'm holding pockets one of them has to have an ace right? Maybe both? Sure enough, I bet the size of the pot, and this guy we'll call "Superfish" LOL!!! comes back at me. He pushes me all in. I call and he's got AJ. No help for him and I'm at $208.

People!!!! This is less than 45 minutes after I first sat down at my computer. If I didn't love what I do for a living I could easily get by doing this online thing. Hell, these fish are already paying my way to Ceaser's and Camp Hellmuth. (BTW, it is Feb 9-11) You better act quick because this will definitely sell out. Read my last post if you'd like some strategy on how to build your stack in order to make this a FREE trip.

Okay, so back to the tables. The guy, Superfish, types in the box "nh" and I type back "thanks fish" He starts to get all riled up, and then finally leaves. I don't remember what else he said cause I was busy getting my reads down on the rest of the table. Probably less than 30 minutes after my big hand I'm on the big blind and I get Six-Four. There were no raises so I get a free check, and the flop comes Q 6 6. Seriously, any of the dumb fish raise even the minimum and I don't stick around for that flop. So, I check. That's what's beautiful. Earlier when I had trips, I bet, this time I check. That's why it's SO TOUGH TO READ NEVERBLUFF! LOL !!! anyway, some guy bets at the pot. I call him. The turn is a Jack I think. (I had about six Buds by this time) and I decide to bet. Well, guess what? This guy raises me his whole stack which was about $20 more. Of course I call. Guess what he has?? Yup. Queen-Jack. Um, sir...There are already 2 sixes on the board!!! LOL!!!

Believe me, I wanted to stick around cause my stack was already at $260, but I promised myself to stick to my guns. I got up from the table, grabbed another Bud and called Tommy.

This is where it gets weird cause Tommy and Pete are my only two friends that get online, and I told them about this site. So, T and P, WHAT's up? Kinda neat ain't it?
The plan is to do the exact same thing tonight. And tomorrow night. And every night for the next couple weeks. Then I'm off to Vegas to play with the big boys, Phil, Fishman, The Magician, and TJ Cloutier.

Hope all your pots are fat and juicy like mine.


Play Like a Champion Today.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Camp Hellmuth

I know I've posted about how I think Phil Hellmuth is the best poker pro today. Well, I just got an email inviting me to 2006 Camp Hellmuth. It's less than a month away, so I don't know if I'll be able to swing it, but I'm going to try my ass off.

It's at Caeser's Place from February 9-11. I'm starting my own little Camp Hellmuth Competition tonight. I figure if I set up a structure and stick to it properly, all of the fish will pay my way to the fantasy camp. Can't beat a free trip, right? The price of the Camp is $1,999, and Ceasers is offering $555 room rates for the trip. I will round this up to $2,600, and figure that I have 2 weeks to do this. So, $1,300 a week is what I need to make, which is about $200 a day.

Here's my plan:
1) Play 50$ No Limit until I get my stack to $100.
2) Play 100$ No Limit until I get my stack to $250. This is only 1.5x my buy-in which is pretty easy to do considering all the tourists that play at these levels.
3) Quit for the day. I was thinking about running my stack up as high as I could, but every time I do this some fish usually draws out on me for a big pot. Go back a couple posts and read about that dickhead tourist who cracked my pocket Cowboys with Ace-Seven if you don't believe me. A-7 !!! LOL !!! So, the plan is to quit and book the win.

I will do this plan, and I promise to stick to it, every night starting tonight for the next two weeks. When it's all said and done, $220 x 14 days = $2800. This will cover my entry fee to Camp Hellmuth AND my room at Ceasers Palice. The extra money will go to my flight. But, I'm assuming I can use a free ticket I've had saved for awhile. So, that extra $200 will most definitely go to the booze fund!!!

Here's the best part: Not only is Phil Hellmuth going to be there (obviously, it's his camp) but two of my other favorite poker players are going to be there helping as well. Scott Fishman and Antinio "The Magician" Esfandiari. These guys are some of the best in the world. Fishman won two bracelets last year, and he's only 25. TJ Cloutier is also going to be there. He's won about 5 bracelets, so that's pretty sweet too.

I plan to update my progress each day. And, I also plan to keep bringing you The Poker Champ's kick-ass stategy as well. I may come back with more Sit And Go strategy tips, or I may switch over to ring game tips. That's probably what I'll do so in case someone who is reading this doesn't play Sit And Go's, that they'll get some good tips to help them start making the BIG money too.

Pete Update - I talked to him last night. I guess the cops never came over. Which is good. Him and Jess are still together too. Doesn't suprise me. They've probably been in over 100 fights since I've known him, and they never break up for more than a night. LOL!! Jess did have to get nine stiches in her lip though. That should teach her!! LOL!! Going back over there this weekend for to watch our STEEEEELERS!!!! They were gonna come over here to watch it then play poker but we watched the last two games at Pete's and we don't want to jinx them by doing something stupid.

Get ready Broncos fans. Bill Cowher is coming after YOU!



Play Like a Champion Today.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Sit and Go Strategy Post

Okay, I know I promised you strategy, so here it is.

I was trying to think of a way I could charge for this, because it WILL make you money, but I couldn't come up with anything. I figured if poker "experts" can sell books with strategy then I should be able to sell my strategy on the internet somehow.

I thought about not posting every single detail since that may help some of the fish (people that buy my BUDWEISER) get good at poker. Then I realized that fish are too dumb to learn. Go read my last post about that fucking TOURIST!!!! that played Ace-Seven and hit his miracle 3-outer on the flop to bust my pocket Cowboys. Fish piss me off sometimes.

I just have to keep telling myself it is one big session.

Sit And Go: Stratgey Volume One:
Only raise if you have an ace and a face card, and it helps if they're suited.
I don't raise with small pocket pairs because it won't get any of the fish out, and they're likely going to call you with a tourist hand like Ace-Seven.
I also don't like to raise with big pairs because I don't want to chase any of the action out.

I will also call with any two suited cards if there hasn't been a raise. I may not do this later on in the SNG when the blind bets get bigger, but early on it is worth it to try to hit a flush. If I do hit my flush I will NOT raise it up. I don't want the fish to think I hit my flush, and they may try to steal it with a big bet on the river. That is when I make them go broke.

I took this next part from Phil Hellmuth: It is much better to push all in than it is to call all in. If I get low in chips I will push all in if I have big cards. If someone puts me all in, I usually don't call unless I have a HUGE hand. Like a pair or an Ace-Face card.

Remember: Fish like to stick around and hit their draws. If you have Ace-Jack and the flop comes out with an Ace and two cards of the same suit. I guarantee someone will call a bet to try to hit their flush. If they want to do that they will have to pay their entire stack because I will bet BIG here.

I like to force people to gamble. I am an action player, and I usually almost always only show down big hands that are winners. That's why the boys call me NeverBluff.

The ONLY time that I bluff in a Sit And Go is when I KNOW they're going to fold. I can usually tell by feel if someone will fold to a bluff if I've been playing with them for a few minutes.

Some fish are just that easy to read.


I have a notebook that I keep right here by my computer, and everytime I think of a new strategy tip I write it down. I probably have 100 tips or more. I will share these with you a few at a time. I probably don't have many readers right now, but I figure if I keep giving out kick-ass strategy and it helps one person win money he may tell one more person, and so on.

I love poker. And, I love winning other people's money.
There are so many fish out there just trying to give their money away.
I think we should give them a hand and help them do just that.


Play Like a Champion Today.


P.S. If you're reading this and like my strategy, and it helps you make money, you can leave me a comment if you like. Or, if you're in the Louisville area maybe we can play some cards. Me and the boys play every week, and we like to hit up Caeser's too. WARNING: Just because you comment here and we play cards, I will not take it easy on you. Poker is WAR!!
LOL!!!!!

Monday, January 16, 2006

Fucking Bullshit!

This day has been a big pile of SHIT!!! LOL !!!

First off, of course I have to work.
Most of America gets Marting King Day off.

Is it a Holiday or not?
Fucking Bullshit!

Where's our Ronald Reagan Day?
He was a true AMERICAN!

Seems they should be celebrating President's Day more since Abe Lincoln helped them out so much.

Of course, I then come home and play in a $100NL Cash game at Full Tilt.
After five minutes I can tell I'm the ONLY one that has a clue how to play poker.

Guess what ???

I got sucked out on!!!

I get KK and someone bets the blind amount in front of me. I raise him the minimum cause I don't want him going anywhere. Flop comes Ace-Jack-5. He checks, and of course I bet. I bet the pot and he pushes all in for $110. I call and he has Ace-7.

What kind of fucking TOURIST plays A7???????? LOL???

Poker is funny sometimes.


Play Like a Champion Today.

Fucking Bullshit!

This day has been a big pile of SHIT!!! LOL !!!

First off, of course I have to work.
Most of America gets Marting King Day off.

Is it a Holiday or not?
Fucking Bullshit!

Where's our Ronald Reagan Day?
He was a true AMERICAN!

Seems they should be celebrating President's Day more since Abe Lincoln helped them out so much.

Of course, I then come home and play in a $100NL Cash game at Full Tilt.
After five minutes I can tell I'm the ONLY one that has a clue how to play poker.

Guess what ???

I got sucked out on!!!

I get KK and someone bets the blind amount in front of me. I raise him the minimum cause I don't want him going anywhere. Flop comes Ace-Jack-5. He checks, and of course I bet. I bet the pot and he pushes all in for $110. I call and he has Ace-7.

What kind of fucking TOURIST plays A7???????? LOL???

Poker is funny sometimes.


Play Like a Champion Today.

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Steeeeelers!!

How bout them Steelers?!?

Crazy as shit day at Pete's. We're hootin' and hollerin' cause our boys in Black n' Gold kicked those INdy pussies asses, and we're playing poker (of course) and Pete's girlfriend comes in and starts running her trap.

Now I ain't about hitting ladies, but this bitch had it comin'. Pete told her to ShutUP twice, and she kept coming back in. So, he popped her one! BAM! Busted her lip up, and she threatened to call the cops, so we all got the fuck out. It's only a twenty minute drive for me, but I had about 20 Buds, so I decided to scoot before the piggies got there.


Not sure what I liked seeing better, Mike Vanderjack missing the FG or old Pete poppin' that loud ass bitch.

Time for some poker.


Play Like a Champion Today.

Donkey Poker 101

Warning: When you sit with donkeys at a poker table they will ALWAYS draw out on you.

I've forgotten more about the lovely game of poker than any of these dickheads will ever know. How are they all not broke by now?

That's the most frustrating part about poker. The best player doesn't always win. If that was the case I'd be living on a beach somewhere sipping umbrella drinks from a lawn chair.


I'm playing in a $30 sng at PokerStars and I get Ace-Jack two from the big blind.
Of course I raise it up $100 when the blinds are 20/40. The flop hits the board and it looks like J T 7. I bet another $100, and some guy pushes all in. Of course I call and he has three tens.

Every goddamn time I have a hand someone has one better. This NEVER happens in our home games. Fucking joke. This guy either hits his three tens or goes broke within the next five minutes. That's how bad these online players are. The guy probably voted for John Kerry too! LOL!!!

Well, I'm gonna watch my Steelers whuuup up on the Colts today, and we're gonna have a homegame with the fellers too. I got a case of Budweiser already on ice and ready to go.

Donkeys always seem to make their hands on the river. People think it's silly to rather play with good players, but I most definitely would. They know when to LAY DOWN A HAND !!! LOL!!

GO STEELERS!!!


Play Like a Champion Today.

Saturday, January 14, 2006

Hey, Look at me. I'm a Blogger!

Well, after months of reading blogs about poker, I decided to start one myself.

Hopefully starting this blog will help chronicle my poker journey.

I currently play at Party Poker, PokerStars, Full Tilt, and Doyle's Room.
My favorite game is Texas Hold 'em, and one day I hope to be the World Champion of Poker.
Me and my friends play once a week, and once a month I host the game.
Most of my friends are fish, but I have no problems taking their money.

Poker is WAR. When you sit at the table with me, my only plan is to make you go broke.
And, believe me, most people do go broke when they play with me.

My friends started calling me "NeverBluff" because I only show down good hands. What they don't know is that the hands that I don't show down are usually perfectly timed bluffs.

My favorite hand is pocket tens. I won a big tourney on Thanksgiving weekend at a friend's house in Cincinnati, and my final hand was pocket tens. Since that tournament my game has been pretty much unstoppable. I've read Super System 2 and Phil Hellmuth's Play Poker Like the Pros. I didn't like SS2 that much, but I thought PPLtP was pretty good. Phil Hellmuth is one of my favorite pros, so that's probably why. Most people don't like Phil because they say he whines too much, but he's a world class professional. He can read anyone at anytime. I would say that my game is pretty similar to Phil Hellmuth's.

I've been reading blogs for almost a year now. The blogs I like to read are Daniel Negreanu, Dutch Boyd, Tao of Poker, BadBlood on Poker, Guinness and Poker, Up for Poker, and Poker Perspectives. I plan to link all of these blogs up once I learn how to. Most of these blogs are good and funny sometimes, but there isn't a whole lot of poker talk anymore. That's what I'm hoping to contribute to the blog scene. I bring a pretty kick-ass strategy to the table, and I plan to share it with you.

Enough writing already, Time to go play some poker !!!

Play Like a Champion Today.